Blonde Jokes

“Why don’t blondes talk during sex?
Their moms taught them not to talk to strangers.”

  1. How do blonde braincells die? Alone.
  2. How do you confuse a blonde? You don’t. They’re born that way!
  3. How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Wave.
  4. How do you get a blonde to laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday!
  5. How do you get a blonde to marry you? Tell her she’s pregnant.
  6. Three blondes walk into a building. You’d think one of them would’ve seen it!
  7. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? “Are you sure it’s mine?”
  8. What do blondes do after combing their hair? Pull their pants up.
  9. What do you call a dead blonde in the closet? Hide-and-go-seek winner from last year.
  10. What does a blonde do after sex? Introduces herself.
  11. What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? Her ankles.
  12. What’s a blonde’s favorite fairy tale? Hump-me, Dump-me!”
  13. What’s the difference between a blonde and a guy? The blonde has a higher sperm count.
  14. What’s the difference between a blonde and a Tesla? You don’t let your friends borrow your Tesla.
  15. What’s the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde? Only three fingers fit in a bowling ball!
  16. Why are blondes so easy to get into bed? Who cares?
  17. Why do blondes love getting boob jobs? It’s the job they’re most qualified for!
  18. Why does a blonde wear a tight skirt? To keep here legs closed.
  19. Why don’t you give a blondes coffee breaks? It takes too long to retrain them.
  20. Why is 68 the maximum speed for blondes? Because at 69 they blow a rod.